1st October 2011

There are six pens in the pen stand on the table, the newspaper is lying here and there, Naomi says that, “I am a better mom now, Dunst goes topless, all this interesting crap I have read many times since morning.  The roof corners has web, there is dust all over the furniture in the room. The books are boring right now, the playlist on the cell phone is very short listened to the songs several times.

All the inspiring and money making ideas are written on the register in front of me. Spent two hours writing those, so that I can have my mind at peace for the rest of the day. The money in my account is Rs. 45.67. The project is in midway somewhere in Delhi. Trying calling my friend who is working on the project, I think he is sleeping at the moment. The bulb cover needs cleaning, its dust and the light is not coming what it use to give. The orange wall in front of me empty, the painting which I had put before I can’t see it on the wall, somebody must have put that down. The house is like a cage, the paint filled boxes are here and there lying, the painters didn`t came today.

Mixing one paint from other is fun, suddenly I felt a pain in my head, I got up and went to the room and lie down on the bed, for the next two hours I watched the phone lying by my side, blinking with flash messages. Got up and picked my report, read it several times already. Read it again and then have to close it again and put it on the bedside. Can`t understand the language of the doctors but the report says that I have typhoid.

2 bread, 1 packet milk, 1 matchstick.

Chai pi le yarr, nahi bhai, daru padi hai toh bata. Haan yarr. But what is wrong, nothing yarr, sore throat, Ya rite, in that case, tea will be good. Chup kar daru de kahan hai and my friend is looking for the bottle of spirit in my flat. I am on the other hand standing in kitchen making tea. Okay I said and I gave it to him, on the other hand my tea is ready. We went on with our course, mine- tea and my friends a glass, 30 ml of spirit with little cold water in it and we are on for the movie. I was working side by side and listening to what my friends has to say. After 3 bowls of maggi and 6 cigarettes. We were starving again and the situation was , who will go down four floors to get maggi and cigarettes. My friend turning into a philosopher with every peg. So i took the initiative to go down and get the stuff. I got down, lovely weather outside, dark clouds covering the sky, thank god i am not going out, as its not raining now with dark clouds in the sky, but if I will step outside, the god somehow thinks that I never take bath, so he intentionally make me wet, by ordering clouds, iski maro aaj toh laptop bhi hai, maaja aega. Now that's not good. Not today boss. As I am walking towards the store I see no girls on my way, bad luck. I am little short of thoughts today, hat BC, ho gaya na, I placed my beautiful puma chappals into the mixture of sand and water. I stood there for few seconds looking at my chappals, suddenly some moron honked just before my butt. Ek se ek harami hai yahan, I am looking at my chappals and then to him, sitting in his car, he can never feel what I am feeling rite now. Back to life, bhai 1 maggi, 4 Marlboro regular. Mentioning it again today the streets are kind of a empty, no girls. Got back, my friend has almost empty the bottle of spirit. As I am writing this blog, he is standing by my side and asking for the match stick, harami, machis, de be, machis,machis, yes he is saying it again and again. He went back into the room, mil gai. He is so much into this movie, he is watching Wake up sid, I tried distracting him to make tea or maggi, but he would`t listen. You know after 6 to 8 pegs, you gain this power of blurring out everything and just focus on what you doing, that's the power that my friend is experiencing. Moving rite along. Let me grab his cigarette, wait a sec, jalai kahan hai, I replied cigarattee de, jalai kahan hai, noticing one thing, he is repeating same fucking words again and again. I came out in the balcony, where I am writing this blog and I heard, saale khatam ho gai, cigarette kahan hai? Lo kar lo baat, just 20 minutes ago I had brought 4 cigarettes. Bata ta hu  saale ko, pi kar hero ban raha hai. Sid is learning to make boil eggs in the movie, wake up sid. Carry on yar, make some tea and enjoy this lovely day in Delhi. Aur apne harami doston ko mat bulana in case you live alone.

When I said, I will work for free.

Kotak Mahindra bank, I have worked there for eight months as a PRM, portfolio resolution manager. Everyday going through the excel sheet, discussing cases with colleague  and getting a no every time. Giving boss the figures and details of the cases. Going to courts discussing cases with the lawyers, driving 150km bike then coming home. This was the routine of my life when I was working in the Bank. Everyday cursing the job, the work that I was suppose to do. I did`t like the work it was just not me, sounds dramatic but yes, nothing is coming to my mind rite now. One day when I was coming back to faridabad from office in the afternoon, for some work, I went to GK2 market, Barista. I ordered  Cappuccino, I saw a girl working on her laptop, two guys discussing something, a lady at the counter ordering, the coffee machine making the usual noise. I looked at the files from the office a bit and then tilt up to see the girl working on the laptop, the only colorful and beautiful thing I saw till now, couldn't get my eyes of her. Nobody loves to see the same sheet again and again, at least I dint. So the frustration was replaced by depression and it was then that I decided that I will no longer work with the bank, I will do something that I like. I want this life, sitting in Barista having cappuccino and discussing business, not driving bike 150 km in sun and running in the courts.
That`s when I began to build a business that I would love to be in for the rest of my life, usually people say that it takes five to ten years to get a business off the ground, so I see a lot of struggle on my way, well I am struggling in the bank too, why not struggle in the business and work I would love to do. I will choose something that I love and I would be willing to do it for free. In that way the struggle might be fun - and that`s exactly what I am going to do. I finished my coffee and went home and decided to resign tomorrow. I got up, I was feeling free already, see how one can give satisfaction with a single thought. No formals today, i wore my favorite jeans and T-shirt, no bag either. i went to Bank and to my desk. Everybody was looking at me as if I had come naked. My colleague said, tumhara ghar nahin hai, formals kahan hai?, I replied, apna kaam kar le, teri utarne mein do minute nahin lagenge, everybody around me shifted their focus on me and my colleague, who never expected me to say something like this said, yarr mein toh mazka kar raha tha, haan haan thik hai, i replied. Everybody was looking at me, to which I replied, kya hua kaam karlo apna, all the guys were my senior. Cracking jokes everyday, somehow there was pin drop silence today. I went to my boss`s cabin and came out and I went to the market, Vikaspuri main market, near PVR, had my sutta. Yes the going in and coming out was the only time it took, no paper work, no email, no notice, just two words, bye Sir!.And the journey begins. Best of luck to me.

4th June 2011

I opened my eyes to see the time in my cellphone, it was 6:30 a.m. I opened my eyes to see the time in my cellphone it was 7:00 a.m. I got up and put on my jeans and t-shirt and left for Faridabad. My eyes were tired, can barely see, by the time I had crossed Saket(south Delhi), my ears were as if there is no air in them. The playlist got into my head after I crossed Khanpur. Ah! now I am driving, I had to pick a prospectus for the center of open learning that I had opened with Pradeep a cousin, we had queries but the prospectus were late. So I had to collect the prospectus and reach the institute by 10, I was driving fast, I reached my home around 7:47 am, had my tea and break fast and then had to rush to the college for the prospectus. I took the prospectus around 8:30 am and then I left for the institute, which is in south Delhi,  near alaknanda market. I had to drop the prospectus there and reach for the shoot in Jamia around 10 am. As I reached the institute the clock was already at 10 am. So, I left a message with the director, then I went to my room in malviya nagar. Had a nice bath and left for the shoot, only had 100 bucks in my pocket so not taking the auto today, I am late too. Hell! rupak dropped me at the saket selectcitywalk bus stand,Yes I am going with bus. I waited and waited and the bus came Ah! the red AC bus direct to jamia. I tell you the Ac was good, so were the people. Cost me 20 bucks to reach jamia, enough left to come back. The shoot was boring but the girl was good. I left from the studio around 10pm by the time I had nothing in my pocket, so I took the auto for malviya nagar and called up deepak to come with 100 bucks, yes these auto guys charge more in night, usually it would have cost me around 70 to 75bucks. My legs were really hurting had nothing in lunch was also really starving. I am sure deepak and rupak got dinner ready for me. I was carrying load too, the camera bag and the tripod bag, bad. So this was my day, all fucked up and full of running here and there. Had a decent meal, dal fry and anda fry with Rasna. Deepak is really good at making rasna. After that I was watching the movie, the superman, Salla ek din meri tarah bags utha kar dekha aur auto mein travel kare, uski bhi phat jaegi. Deepak continued on playing his favorite game, Counter strike. I went to sleep at 3 am in the morning.

Pink Shorts

I woke up saw tea in front of me and rusks, thanks to deepak, he went to drop rupak to the malviya nagar metro station as rupak has an exam today. So on his way he brought back tea and the rusks. I came out of room in the balcony, cold breeze, wow, in the month of May. Had my tea with puffs and looking at the girl in the front apartment, also enjoying the fresh air, it was raining so i came out for puff in the balcony and saw her reading a book sitting on the floor near the balcony door, oh remember those legs and the pink shorts she was wearing. I stayed there till she was reading the book, she looked up several times at me. Lovely Morning. Give it to me, deepak interrupted for the ciggi.

As I was enjoying taking head-shots in counter strike I got a call for the shoot around 3pm, to reach lodhi at 5pm. There I was around 5:30pm sitting and waiting for the guy to come who was to be interviewed. The shoot was cancelled. Fuck, the bath, the run, the energy all sucked up for nothing. The Documentary maker, he dropped me at south X, from there I took an auto for malviya nagar. This ride I will remember, the auto guy, a 1st year BCA student, driving the auto since the age of the 16, had so many meaningful things to say about the government, the calculations were just awesome. I will tell about this in detail in my other blog, Travelers Diary. For now I am gonna shut down my PC. Goodnight.

31st May 2011

Today I got up at 8:30am, to go to the shoot, that was gonna happen on the IGI airport. The shoot got cancelled. So I am going to complete the editing work of the video which I shot for the music video of Studio 39, rap by my friend, melodies thrown in by Ishani. Its an awesome video, this is gonna be my first official video as a director, editor and cinematographer. I am loving every bit of it, not making enough money though, had to borrow from the friends sometimes but its worth it. The name of the video is Incomplete, shot in faridabad and delhi. Its a mix and match of the backstage footage, when we had lunch and talks and discussions, how the video is gonna be, what would be the theme, these times were shot and are placed in the video, once its out you can enjoy. The music by Alex sir is so good, i can see the video by looking at an empty wall, going through cut to cut. I had to redo the whole editing as something is wrong with the old file, i don`t know much of the FCP, but with basic tools I managed to complete the video by noon. Rupak and deepak were gone to Birja, our bike mechanic in gautam nagar. My video is complete now, so its time to watch the movie, Superman. Downloaded last night blue ray print. Pradeep called, my cousin brother. I am trying to open a Open learning center with him, so he came to my place to discuss the fee chart and how to start up. We had a chat and design was made by rupak for the boards, so that they can be put from tomorrow, as the admissions are going on. After he left I went on my Mac, to give the video of incomplete the last touch and it was complete within an hour. Now was the time to play counter strike, i played it for an hour, kills-0, killed-22 times, ya that bad. The guys were good in the deathmatch game. After that me, rupak and deepak went for the tea, by the time chadha has arrived, a friend of rupak and deepak, had few chats chadha saab left and we came back to the flat. I put the video on render and went on to watch Superman which was left after that,  facebook as I am currently on it. Posting a video link on the wall, David Rush-shooting star, awesome song. Had the dinner and puffs. Good Night. :)